It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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