I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize