This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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