he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize