my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize