I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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