I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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