Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
