Nicole vs. Life
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
