I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
