Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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