He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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