Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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