My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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