hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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