1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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