I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
