How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My feet surprised me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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