I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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