Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
