totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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