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No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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