he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
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I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
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Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING