I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.