Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.