just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
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Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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