Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize