so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
