i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
