R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
