She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
