they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
As shirtless as possible
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
