I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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