Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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