My brain says no but my pants say off.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
