I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
