I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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