i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize