community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize