I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
