I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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