rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
