even my farts smell like vagina
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
