return my video game
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
