when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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