Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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