i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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