I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
