Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
