the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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