The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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