I cockslap morals
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
