Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
