i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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