i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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