You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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