I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just gift wrapped bread.
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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