yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
