if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
