You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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