How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
