I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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